It used to drive me crazy that you would look at my blog all the time, because I felt like it was too personal, even for you to know. But now I hope that sometimes, maybe when you’re thinking of me, or even missing me, you find yourself scrolling through my posts, and realize that almost every single one is about you.
Do you ever have one of those days where you just completely and totally hate yourself? Yep. It’s one of those days.
Sometimes I only wear my glasses when I’m doing my homework because it makes me feel smarter. How dumb.
I’m so jealous of people who know who they are and where they want to go in life. I wish the stranger in the mirror had a clue.
Watching Sweet Home Alabama. By myself. While my boyfriend hangs out with his friends. A day before I leave for Europe for 15 days. And I know he’s gonna see this. Suck it, Brian. SUCK IT.
Hellllllo tumblr! I’ve missed you all, but I got a new laptop so I’ll be up and posting again(;
In just a few short hours, I’ll be 18. It’s funny to think that so much can change in such a short time. Less than two years ago, I was in the ICU, more than ready to give up & stop fighting the pain. It took weeks in the hospital, 87 days missed of school, an outpatient program, my family, my real friends, a lotta hope, plenty of experimentation with religions, & inner strength I never knew I had to finally find the will to live again.
I wasn’t cured of depression, that’s not how it works. I still have my ups and downs, and plenty of scars to remind me that I’m still healing, even years later. But, the fact that it is years later is remarkable and I can finally admit that. I honestly, really and truly, never thought I’d make it to 18. At that time, I didn’t even think I’d make it the next day, the next hour. But here I am.
Reflectively, I am extremely grateful for all the people I have in my life, my friends, my family, my life.
Never take a minute of your life for granted, never give up hope, and if you ever find yourself in a dark place, remember that there are always so many people willing to help you find the light.
I’ve learned a lot from my past and I have absolutely no regrets in life, but I will literally go insane if I go back to being that girl. I’m sorry.